Mars humor


From: calderone@sysnet.net (Susan Hurstcalderone)
Subject: Mars humor
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 1997 17:17:42 -0400


I recently received this humorous piece from TOURBUS@LISTSERV.AOL.COM which
is produced by Patrick Douglas Crispen.  With his permission, I thought you
might enjoy the humor on a lazy summer day.

>MARS AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH
>
>     Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force
>     denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in
>     the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday.  Appearing at a
>     press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that
>     "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather
>     balloon, not an alien spacecraft".
>
>     The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at
>     nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris
>     Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object
>     which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing"
>     several times before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden
>     explosion of alien gases".  Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The
>     Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict
>     the earlier report.  General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that
>     hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the
>     Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences
>     involving swamp gas.  But the general public has been slow to
>     accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring
>     to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris.
>     Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's statements as
>     evidence of "an obvious government cover-up", pointing out that
>     Mars has no swamps.
>
>I thought you'd get a kick out of that (personally, I am *still* laughing
>about the word "spokesTHING").  Anyway, ......"

Susan Hurstcalderone
Science Coordinatory/Teacher
Blessed Sacrament School
5841 Chevy Chase Parkway, NW
Washington, D.C.    20015                          calderone@sysnet.net [home]
                      Science.....a way of thinking.
202/966-6682 [school]
202/966-4938 [school fax]